Sometimes marriage can be one of the most challenging commitments of your life. But we believe it is worth fighting for. No doubt you are reading this article because you are looking for ways to turn your marriage around. Well the good news is that help is available. Time tested information exists that will get your marriage cooking and enable you to create a better marriage than you have ever had before. But you have got to know where to find it. None of us ever desire hard times, but they do inspire us to look for answers and dig deeper than we ever have before.
So what does it take to revitalize your marriage? Thankfully the answer to this question is simple; you need to take care of the basics. There are a few basic principles that every good marriage is built on. If you put these into place, you can save your marriage and in fact, create a healthy marriage.
Many of us are familiar with how a house is built. First you lay the foundations. It is critical to use the right materials when building the foundations so that they support the house through the stormiest of weather. Then you build the house brick by brick on these solid foundations. Marriage is a lot like this. The difference is, it is never too late to go back and work on the foundations. Maybe you have a lot of them already in place and you just need to do some repair work to get everything on a sound footing again.
The fact that it is simple does not make it easy, it does take some work. So there is some pain and soul searching to be done, but once you put in the effort its all worth it in the end. Truth be told, the pain experienced in getting back together is nothing compared to the pain people experience when it all falls apart. You may be surprised how much difference you can make with a small but well directed effort.
What about those 'fundamentals' then? Where do we find them? Many people go down a path of therapy. However, studies show that almost 50% of couples who choose therapy end up divorced. Only 10-20% of couples say they found any significant benefit from counseling. They are hardly compelling statistics. Therapy that does work is based on sound principles. It must focus on those things that are foundational to a healthy marriage. Many therapists just don't seem to get this right.
There are many things that make a difference in marriage, but the two that stand out are commitment and honor. Out of the two, commitment is often the easiest to understand. It is the decision to stay with your partner through thick and thin, in sickness and health regardless of what life throws up. It's easily said, but as we all know, it can get tough. Now if you are in an abusive relationship you need to seek further help. Otherwise, work on your commitment to each other first. Society's 'try before you buy' attitude just doesn't work. Where commitment is lacking, marriages end in divorce.
The second fundamental is honor. This key concept is one I had to learn. Doing so and getting it right was a turning point in our marriage. But what does the word honor mean in a marriage? In short, it means accepting your partner for who they are. Value your partner. Get to know everything about them whether it is good or bad. Love them anyway without trying to fix them. Give them full permission to be themselves. Listen to them attentively. They won't always be right in what they say or do. No one is! Sure, later you can talk to them about the things that annoy or hurt you. But first they need to know that they are safe with you and you love them.
Now you've decided you want to save your marriage but you're not sure your partner is in this with you. Can you make a difference on your own? Yes, you definitely can. Marriage is the union of two people becoming one, as the Bible puts it. You cannot force your spouse to change, but you can change yourself and see how that impacts them. There have been many marriages saved by one of the partners getting down to work and making some beneficial changes.
What action can you take to make a difference in your relationship? No matter what condition your marriage is in you can make it better. Maybe you see some cracks appearing. Perhaps your partner has taken things to court and refuses to talk. The sooner you grasp these sound fundamentals and act on them, the better. Even if you are already separated there is still hope to turn things around.
So what does it take to revitalize your marriage? Thankfully the answer to this question is simple; you need to take care of the basics. There are a few basic principles that every good marriage is built on. If you put these into place, you can save your marriage and in fact, create a healthy marriage.
Many of us are familiar with how a house is built. First you lay the foundations. It is critical to use the right materials when building the foundations so that they support the house through the stormiest of weather. Then you build the house brick by brick on these solid foundations. Marriage is a lot like this. The difference is, it is never too late to go back and work on the foundations. Maybe you have a lot of them already in place and you just need to do some repair work to get everything on a sound footing again.
The fact that it is simple does not make it easy, it does take some work. So there is some pain and soul searching to be done, but once you put in the effort its all worth it in the end. Truth be told, the pain experienced in getting back together is nothing compared to the pain people experience when it all falls apart. You may be surprised how much difference you can make with a small but well directed effort.
What about those 'fundamentals' then? Where do we find them? Many people go down a path of therapy. However, studies show that almost 50% of couples who choose therapy end up divorced. Only 10-20% of couples say they found any significant benefit from counseling. They are hardly compelling statistics. Therapy that does work is based on sound principles. It must focus on those things that are foundational to a healthy marriage. Many therapists just don't seem to get this right.
There are many things that make a difference in marriage, but the two that stand out are commitment and honor. Out of the two, commitment is often the easiest to understand. It is the decision to stay with your partner through thick and thin, in sickness and health regardless of what life throws up. It's easily said, but as we all know, it can get tough. Now if you are in an abusive relationship you need to seek further help. Otherwise, work on your commitment to each other first. Society's 'try before you buy' attitude just doesn't work. Where commitment is lacking, marriages end in divorce.
The second fundamental is honor. This key concept is one I had to learn. Doing so and getting it right was a turning point in our marriage. But what does the word honor mean in a marriage? In short, it means accepting your partner for who they are. Value your partner. Get to know everything about them whether it is good or bad. Love them anyway without trying to fix them. Give them full permission to be themselves. Listen to them attentively. They won't always be right in what they say or do. No one is! Sure, later you can talk to them about the things that annoy or hurt you. But first they need to know that they are safe with you and you love them.
Now you've decided you want to save your marriage but you're not sure your partner is in this with you. Can you make a difference on your own? Yes, you definitely can. Marriage is the union of two people becoming one, as the Bible puts it. You cannot force your spouse to change, but you can change yourself and see how that impacts them. There have been many marriages saved by one of the partners getting down to work and making some beneficial changes.
What action can you take to make a difference in your relationship? No matter what condition your marriage is in you can make it better. Maybe you see some cracks appearing. Perhaps your partner has taken things to court and refuses to talk. The sooner you grasp these sound fundamentals and act on them, the better. Even if you are already separated there is still hope to turn things around.
About the Author:
Help Save My Marriage dot org has been set up to assist couples through challenging times in their marriage. To get some information about a great program to help you rebuild your marriage click here.
