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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Heeding The Signs That You Might Have A Bad Marriage

By Herbert Zabala


If you or someone that you know has been through issues in their marriage, you know full well just how difficult things can get. For a lot of people dealing with relationship troubles with their spouse, it can take a whole lot out on you both emotionally and even physically with all of the stress that can take place.

There can be good days and bad days, which will make you feel as though you are on a sort of emotional roller coaster that has come off of the tracks.

Too many people grow up with parents that are not happy together. As a result, they do not understand what a marriage is supposed to be like. They think that it is okay not to express feelings of love for one another. They think it is normal to be unhappy the majority of the time. Therefore, when their own marriage becomes tough to endure, they simply think their situation is normal, when in reality, they deserve so much better.

Do not ignore what is happening with your marriage. It is incredibly scary to think about being alone or to come to the conclusion that your marriage is going to be a statistic. You may be worried about your children or how the rest of your family will react to your failing marriage.

If you have children as a result of the marriage, this type of a situation is never healthy for them either and it warrants some thought on whether or not the marriage is worth keeping together.

Do not deny what has been happening. Maybe you think that marriage is sacred and don't want to seek help because you are afraid to fail. Other people may stay in a bad marriage because they are doing it for their children, or they don't want to disappoint their family and friends. You don't have to sacrifice your happiness to protect them. Admit what is happen, then seek help.

There will often be a lot of excuses being made by either partner to try and stay away from home as much as possible or there will be a lot of issues that can arise from having a difficult time staying on the same page when it comes to important decisions.

The worst thing that you can do if there are any signs that you are in a bad marriage is falling into a state of denial. No matter how sacred you feel the bond of marriage is, you are not going to be doing either of you justice by trying to keep the pieces of your relationship from falling apart.

Keeping a positive attitude is very important, but remember, you can't turn a blind eye to everything that is going wrong with your marriage. Only by addressing your problems can you seek effective solutions.

It may be hard to talk about your problems, but the only alternative is to suffer in silence. You can fix your marriage, but you have to be willing to work at it and to communicate openly and honestly with your partner.

If it means letting go of the marriage for the sake of your children as well as your sanity, then you may just find that everyone involved will be much happier in the long run. When you come to this realization, you need to remember that the dissolution of your marriage is nothing that you need to be ashamed about, especially if you worked hard to try and keep it together.




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Thursday, March 13, 2014

How To Know If Your Marriage Needs Relationship Help?

By Reynaldo Fuentes


Almost all marriages need help at one time or another in order to maintain a good relationship. Any marriage that doesn't have a good relationship will probably not last for long. Even if the union does happen to last somehow, the couples are usually not content and happy.

You might be asking yourself, what is the difference between a relationship and a marriage? A marriage is the bond that is formed in holy matrimony between two people. In the eyes of the law and man they are one. They can only be separated by divorce or death.

A relationship on the other hand, is a meaningful sense of well being formed after the marriage takes place that will grow and deepen as long as the two parties maintain their union. In many cases, the relationship actually begins prior to the marriage.

It isn't hard to tell when you need relationship help for your marriage. However, other people might notice this well before you do. Some of the warning signs include going alone to functions and then offer an excuse for why your spouse is not in attendance.

If you're a couple, the more you're out without one another, the more likely your relationship needs help. When you are together you likely don't do a lot of talking, you may simply sit with one another but not really say anything or worse, you may pretend the other person is interesting all the while hoping the event is over soon.

More signs of a relationship in decline are lack of interest in the bedroom. While both of you may be young and attractive, the spark has gone out and one of you may even fantasize about others.

There is no affection in your relationship. Nobody says I love you, there are no kisses or hugs. Human beings have the need to be satisfied, happy, to feel worthy and to be touched. If there is no touch, your marriage has a serious problem.

If carried to the extremes, your partner can really be turned off by jealousy. The jealous person might withdraw from intimacy because they think their partner has been unfaithful. The accused person might also hold back on their feelings because they are tired of all the jealous questions and constant badgering.

Make sure to not exaggerate the situation and establish some ground rules. If jealousy is a problem, you'll need to seek help. If intimacy is to be a part of the relationship, then jealousy must go.

Debt and money issues can cause relationship problems too. Not enough money to meet day-to-day needs is always cause for concern. But, if the couple is willing to work together and come up with a budget and live within their means, this will help to greatly release some of the tension.

Living within a budget can actually save a relationship. Too much debt can put a serious strain on the marriage. When either spouse constantly overspends and they are drowning in a sea of debt, then the marriage will also begin to sink.

Marriages suffer frequently when things like this occur. Conflicts and disagreements soon become the norm. It's good to stop and do inventory on occasion and see how things are really going between the two of you. Make the required adjustments and continue on in your life. You will see a huge difference and the relationship will become much stronger in the end.




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