Stop Divorce, Ask Yourself If You Know What Your Doing

By Areelitaha Joahlanski

The institution of marriage has been bounced around, thrown up, stomped on a few times, and then rinsed off and repeated. What have we done to a ceremonial process that is supposed to be about your desire to be with your loved one forever? Do people not realize that problems arise and need to be dealt with as a unit? Or have we lost what It means to actually value someone and something as much as that? The answer to that question at this point is rather hazy.

One of the first factors that happens to be leading to this problem is the rate at which couples are getting married. There are plenty of couples out there that have only known each other for a short time and are already being pressured by parents, society or someone to go ahead and get married. Why is this? Why do we feel the need to pressure couples into the institution of marriage? Sometimes the case differs depending on age, pregnancy, several factors that tend to push couples together or spread them apart quickly.

What happens in these situations is an outcome of how society views relationships. This needs to be changed badly. We have to stop living in the past and realize that relationships are founded on a desire for two people to actually spend the rest of their lives together.

It isn't puppy love, or love based on pregnancy, or a desire to please ones family. It is an important choice and should be considered as such. We need to stop treating it as a fun past time or an event that naturally happens whenever we feel the need to do something.

The people that really suffer the most during a divorce are the children. They are innocent bystanders in an ugly event that never is settled on good terms. They good pushed and pulled through the process then usually asked where it is that they want to live. This is a horrible question in itself. How are you supposed to answer that as a child? Of course they want to be with both of their parents but they are being asked to only pick one. Can you imagine what that is like if you haven't been through the process yourself?

The important thing in this situation that needs to be considered is whether or not couples truly are ready to be married. If either party feels like they aren't ready then more time and their needs need to be taken into consideration to avoid and altogether stop divorce.

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Does True Love Have To Be Unconditional?

Image via Wikipediaby Mark Manney
When we put conditions on love, is it really love at all? Isn't something less than unconditional love only a nice arrangement, a pleasant situation dependent upon specific conditions? When we make love conditional, we are stopping short of achieving love in its truest form.

Is to love not to love everything about the person? Is it the person a set of behaviors we care about? Do we love the arrangement or the person in his or her truest form? And when we say "I love you", are we not meant to be proclaiming something that is never-ending?

Most people do show unconditional love to their children. We might discard lovers or spouses, but never children. Yet that fact is interesting because romantic love asks for all of us while parenthood requires only parts of us.

In our era, people quite easily sneer at traditional vows of marriage (For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, until death do we part). People actually seem to think that such a notion is outdated; that to leave a relationship when things aren't working for some time is right. A person who makes this decision can never love in the truest sense; love is not an arrangement! Love is the combing of two souls at the deepest and most unbreakable levels!

When two lovers open themselves to unconditional love, they discover something so real and lasting that they can shed the fear of losing that love. They can suddenly discuss anything, become anything with that person. This kind of love creates a positive, never-ending feedback loop. Issues of control, and the struggles that come with it, suddenly give way to a never-ending source of growth, happiness, and newness.

To transform your relationships, consider a new approach on love. Also check out Abscondo's inspiring music and podcast. This article, Does True Love Have To Be Unconditional? has free reprint rights.