Keeping you marriage alive can be a very hard thing to accomplish. It can be a very sad thing to watch a once happy union fall apart. Sometimes, even when both partners want it to work, they helplessly watch it fall apart. Usually, armed with a little information it is possible to save your marriage.
Know Your Feelings
Before you can fix the way that you feel you must understand why you feel that way. Arguments lead to anger and hard feelings, but what is the real reason for the arguments. If you are truthful with yourself and your spouse does the same, you will probably discover that although on the surface the fights are about many things, the real reasons are all the same. Perhaps one spouse feels ignored or that their needs are not being met. Maybe one spouse is too controlling and the other feels like their opinion doesn't matter. Whatever the truth is, if you can discover these reasons then you can start to fix the real problems.
Don't Lie
Obviously trust is important to a good marriage, but the fact is that almost all of us lie. We don't only lie to our spouses, but often we lie to ourselves as well. Be honest with yourself about what it is that your truly want or need, then share those truths with your spouse. Often we lie to our spouses to protect their feelings. This may be a bad strategy. In this case we end up hurting ourselves to protect our spouses feelings and in the long run this will lead to bad feelings and resentment.
Forgive and Forget
There are so many things that can happen day to day in a marriage to cause pain and frustration. You need to teach yourself to let go of those bad feelings on a daily basis. Anything you don't let go of will simply provide a platform for the next days anger. Soon you may have created a very large wall of bad feelings that will be almost impossible to get over.
Go To Counseling
Even when both spouses have the best intentions, it can often be hard to make this journey alone. It may be easiest if you can find an impartial observer that can give you rational and unbiased advice. This will only be successful if both spouses are comfortable with the counselor.
Try to remember that all the hard work you do to save your marriage will pay off in the long run. Once you two have gotten past the issues you may discover true happiness together.
Know Your Feelings
Before you can fix the way that you feel you must understand why you feel that way. Arguments lead to anger and hard feelings, but what is the real reason for the arguments. If you are truthful with yourself and your spouse does the same, you will probably discover that although on the surface the fights are about many things, the real reasons are all the same. Perhaps one spouse feels ignored or that their needs are not being met. Maybe one spouse is too controlling and the other feels like their opinion doesn't matter. Whatever the truth is, if you can discover these reasons then you can start to fix the real problems.
Don't Lie
Obviously trust is important to a good marriage, but the fact is that almost all of us lie. We don't only lie to our spouses, but often we lie to ourselves as well. Be honest with yourself about what it is that your truly want or need, then share those truths with your spouse. Often we lie to our spouses to protect their feelings. This may be a bad strategy. In this case we end up hurting ourselves to protect our spouses feelings and in the long run this will lead to bad feelings and resentment.
Forgive and Forget
There are so many things that can happen day to day in a marriage to cause pain and frustration. You need to teach yourself to let go of those bad feelings on a daily basis. Anything you don't let go of will simply provide a platform for the next days anger. Soon you may have created a very large wall of bad feelings that will be almost impossible to get over.
Go To Counseling
Even when both spouses have the best intentions, it can often be hard to make this journey alone. It may be easiest if you can find an impartial observer that can give you rational and unbiased advice. This will only be successful if both spouses are comfortable with the counselor.
Try to remember that all the hard work you do to save your marriage will pay off in the long run. Once you two have gotten past the issues you may discover true happiness together.
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