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Saturday, September 1, 2012

How To Save A Marriage-Problems in a Marriage

By Faye Finlay


A lot of marriages have problems of some kind.It does not matter how long you have been married,whether it is for two or twenty years.it is very likely that you have had some amount of fights along the way.Some couples will find the inner strength in them to try and keep their failing marriage together while some will give up easily.Your response most likely depends on the actual issues you are facing in your marriage.We shall examine some of the many problems there may be in a marriage and consider how to save a marriage.

Perhaps you are wondering about what the best method to save a marriage is.Couples have many issues in their marriage but one of the biggest issues is known as storytelling.This basically means that you are discussing your spouse's challenges with other people apart from him,for example,members of his family.This is never a good way to deal with the problems of marriage.It would be better for you to discuss directly with your spouse if you are that concerned about his behaviour.It is not good for him to find that you have been discussing him challenges with other people.Do not hold in your problems ,discuss freely with your spouse so that you can both work out the solutions of how to save your marriage.

Another common problem among many marriages is that couples try to change one another. If you are too persistent and pushy with your spouse, it is only going to cause fighting. You have to give them a chance to be who they want to be; remember, you willingly knew how the person was when you chose to enter into the marriage with them. For example, if they were a smoker when you met, do not try to force them to give up this habit, as it is only going to push them away from you. Also, give your partner some space to do the things that they enjoy. It is not necessary to spend every moment of every day attached to their side. Give them the freedom that they desire and distance yourself a bit and you will soon find that the question of how to save a marriage is no longer a concern.

It is true that distance is needed to point in a relationship,too much detachment can cause spouses to stray away from the marriage or relationship.Couples these days have a busy life which leads to them having less valuable and quality time that is usually needed to maintain a healthy relationship.If couples have to juggle children and jobs, it is often a very tricky situation to overcome.Sex might have disappeared in he relationship and you find that you only sleep in your bed.This distance between the couples can lead to lack of time for any meaningful conversation which is essential for a healthy relationship.you may now ask the million dollar question,"How do I go about trying to save my marriage"?when the problem is that of the couples being so distant from one another.The simple solution is to make special time for each other.You may even have to make a dedicated time for sex.You could even turn off the television and take a walk instead.Or,try to get up earlier in the morning to have a conversation before the hectic day begins.

When you have tried all the above suggestions and the problems still persist,it may mean that you should start to look for help from a professional counsellor.We all know that relationships can sometimes get thorny.However,the chances are that you were deeply in love with your spouse at one time and the feelings can be rekindled if you work on the relationship.When you decide to go for counselling,you may find that you become much more in love with your spouse than when you first met.Imagine if you had to live your life without your spouse.What would that mean to you in terms of day to day living?.Majority of couples find that they would not wish to be without their lifelong spouse.If your marriage is going through some issues,it is advisable to seek help in order to make you closer to your spouse than what you've ever had.You would therefore have managed to save a marriage.It is not a good idea to give up on something you had that was once wonderful.




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