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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Break Up Guilt

By Marti Francis


Quite often, break-ups also result in feelings of guilt among former partners? It is wise to deal with the guilt issue prior to your break up. Guilt could be an extremely damaging feeling and may well make any life pretty miserable. Those who're filled with guilt undergo large amount of discomfort asking for forgiveness everywhere, but fail to forgive themselves.

Why guilt? Guilt is an end product if you have carried out any mistake or blunder towards your ex that has not been corrected. For those who have wronged their companions and refused to acknowledge them just prior to the break-up, they can be quite painful afterwards when guilt comes.

Let me tell you a scenario. The majority of people under no circumstances believe that they've performed any transgression. As time passes they recognize their wrongs and by that time all is lost. The feelings of guilt therefore take over right after that and make life almost impossibly painful.

Remedy - When you've decided to break up, please go ahead. Please do what I recommend ahead of you break up though, for your own sake. Please ask your partner about what all she or he feels what you have done wrong. Ask them to tell you about a complete story without holding back, not missing even the smallest detail. Then, without getting into any arguments, please say sorry for all that. Remember, do not argue.

I realize that odds are, you'd not agree with most of the accusations and may get angry and protest furiously. But refrain from undertaking that. Say sorry, and apologize profusely, and then just try to forget everything. Forgive yourself and move on so you can live a peaceful life within. This way you'll be saving yourself from tremendous level of guilt that may possibly well come afterwards. Act in time before your breaking up.




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Saturday, October 13, 2012

I Want to Save My Marriage - Top Causes of Divorce

By Alyson Rodriguez


Your marriage is within jeopardy and also you need to do all you can to save your marriage. In order to discover how your relationship has come to this point, we must review the method that you got here originally. In an effort that will help you save your marriage, we'll first look at the most common causes of divorce.

Often times throughout marriage, our priorities change. A marriage contains two distinct individuals with their particular group of values. While from the beginning these values were integral in bringing you together, values and priorities change given certain conditions. In particular, you've had your first child. Priority will now be moved to raising your baby and providing care and guidance for about the next eighteen years. Too often, the shift in priorities is realized by one parent however not the other. Your life is altered by the birth of your child. An unparalleled change in priorities often causes anger and resentment between the two adults. Difference of opinion in child rearing or an uneven sharing in the duties involved is one of the major causes for divorce.

Boredom is an additional factor contributing to divorce. Remember when all you experienced together was new and exciting? So what happened? Couples become more comfortable with one another, busy with routine and in the end are susceptible to complacency. Just as you will set down a book you find boring, many couples today get the only recourse for marital boredom is divorce, or worse - infidelity. That leads us to just one more reason couples choose divorce over remedy.

Infidelity is not just a violation of your marriage vows, but a violation of trust and just what supports the marriage as sacred, setting it aside from other relationships. Too often, if infidelity has took place in your marriage, regardless of how many times you plea "I want to save my marriage", there just is no going back. Trust in any relationship is tantamount. Once that trust is broken, many see no resolution. Intimacy within your relationship becomes spattered with doubt and mistrust. All too often, once infidelity has occurred, it doesn't matter how hard you try to forgive and forget, it just doesn't happen. Infidelity is actually the main reason for divorce. I'm positive that comes as no surprise!

Another leading reason for divorce - and this is one of the most founded reason, is abuse. Whether physical, emotional or psychological, abuse is abuse. If your calls are now being monitored, your laptop or computer history being checked, made to feel ugly or inadequate, told how to dress or wear your hair, these are all types of abuse. Aside from the more obvious, physical violation by any means, shape or form, abuse occurs more often than you might be aware.

We've merely scratched the surface revealing the most notable reasons behind divorce. Marriage is definitely an agreement by which both of you decided to share life. It is hard work for the simple idea that you are two separate individuals conjoining to create a life together. In case your relationship becomes broken or you have lost sight in the common goal, tell yourself, "I want to save my marriage" and do whatever needs doing to realize any of these factors impinging on your own union and do what must be done. Please don't give up til you have recognized the infiltrators of your marriage. Love is precious. It is in your power to keep it alive and thriving!




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Friday, October 12, 2012

I Want to Save My Marriage - Reestablish the thrilling excitment

By Jay Pee


As with any intimate relationship, complacency can occur. You become familiar, happy with one another and before you know it, the flames you once felt is diminishing. This is a common fact of marital life. I see you nodding your head and thinking, "yep, that's us. I want to save my marriage before it gets dull and lost in responsibility". Good for you! You've come to the right place. Let's see what you should do to rekindle the flame that brought you together originally.

Do you remember your very first date together? Where was it? What did you do? What were you wearing? Was it raining, cold, sunny, was it warm? What made your day special? Talk about this together with your spouse. Reminisce. Bring back the emotions you experienced on that day. After all, on that day led to another and the next and eventually into a proposal, right? Go back in time. You'll see the passion once again make each other's eyes sparkle. Oh, the butterflies on that day! Remember? Bring out the photos from when you initially met. Look at the way you looked at each other! Oh, the love!

If you are a couple with children, you understand their needs take precedence over your own. This is how and when a couple's passion passes the wayside without realizing it. Remember, at first you're separate individuals with like interests which brought you together as a couple in the first place. Those interests were an essential aspect in your hearts uniting and wanting to spend your whole lives together. Remember? Remember? Good, that's a start! Surprise your spouse with a valentine's day card in August. Bring home flowers for no reason at all. Sneak up behind your spouse while making dinner or doing the laundry and kiss his/her neck. Spark the tingle that results in a passionate kiss (and maybe more!). Remind yourselves of the passion you shared spontaneously once upon a time ago!

Setting aside a date night is a thing you hear all the time. That too can become routine and boring. Instead, you could start to come up with a bucket list and start checking off those items one by one together! What were your dreams when you became a couple? Did you dream of riding a hot air balloon? Learning how to kayak? Do you want to learn to water ski? What were your dreams? Dreams should be realized. They are that which you anticipate achieving. I'm not discussing becoming president in the company for which you work. However, perhaps you have desired leaving the business enterprise and gone into business for yourselves? What's stopping you? Complacency, that's what!

If you have been telling yourself, "I want to save my marriage", grab the bull by the horns and rekindle the spark. Considering that, isn't the spark what brought you together from the beginning?




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