How To Save My Marriage

Image by Lorenia via FlickrAre you tired from the endless arguments and frustration? Do you want to restore the romance and
love that you had when you first got married?

The good news is that most marriages can be saved if you can commit to the task of saving your marriage. While it's true that around 30% of first marriages end up in divorce it doesn't have to be your story.

When a marriage is in serious trouble often the last resort is marriage counselling but for many people they would prefer to solve the problems before things go that far.

Don't expect that saving your marriage is something that will happen instantly or even quickly, it took time for the problems to develop and with anything worthwhile you need to take the appropriate amount of time to carefully fix the problems and save the relationship.

Here are just a few simple suggestions to start you on the journey to get you in the right frame of mind to get you in the best position to save your marriage:

1. First thing is to be calm and think things through if you already haven't started. Don't let your emotions get in the way and ruin your chances of making the right decisions about what you need to do.

2. Avoid making some of the most common mistakes that most people make in your situation. These aren't things that will be easy but it's important that you try and follow them to give yourself the best chance to save your marriage. Things like:

• Acting defensive. No matter how difficult it is, don't react to whatever your spouse says or does during this stage. Remember, that they may be very angry or upset with you at the moment for whatever reason and you need to give them some leeway.
•  Don't resort to begging or pleading with your spouse. This will come across as you being desperate and this is a big turn-off and not the thing to do when trying to turn the love back on.
• Don't play the blame game and make everything either yours or your spouse's fault for the problems in the relationship. Remember, it takes two to have a relationship and both sides are responsible for how it is managed.
• Don't try to change the way they feel at the moment, your spouse has a right to feel the way they do.
•  Just give them some space to work through their feelings, they will eventually settle down.
• Don't promise things like you'll change or make things better if they give you another chance. Again this falls into the category of begging.

If you are doing any of these things then it would be best to stop doing them.

Just remember to give your spouse some space and time alone to allow them to work through their feelings and to think about what they want to do. This will also give you some time to think about what you want from your marriage and how you are going to repair the damage.

Here's to your success,

Mamry Lane.