Image by Έλενα Λαγαρία via FlickrHow long have you been struggling to solve marriage problems that have been hindering your happiness?
More importantly, how much longer do you think you have until things completely fall apart and divorce is the only way out? If you are getting near the point of total desperation to fix your relationship, it is time to consider the way in which you are trying to communicate with one another.
There is one big difference between many couples who work out their problems and move onto a happy future and those that end in ruin: excellent communication skills. If you think you already have this and it isn't a problem, you are not alone. In fact, many people who come at their spouses all wrong and set up conflict often believe they have impeccable communication skills.
Maybe you are one of those people? If you have been wondering why your spouse shuts you out and just won't let you into their real thoughts and emotions, chances are the way you are asking for that entrance is pushing them away rather than drawing them near.
What you need to ultimately do is somehow set aside all of those emotions that are so intense and raw at the moment. You need an all new skill set in order to get past that wall your spouse has erected and start to repair the damage with real conversations about how you both feel and what you want.
First, make sure to initiate conversations at a time that is convenient and comfortable for your spouse. Don't approach them right after they walk in the door from a hard day of work or as they try to figure out how to get all the bills paid when the checking account is short.
Second, make sure that you do not phrase things that point a finger or even slightly hint that you are upset or they have done something wrong. This will immediately put their guard up in expectation of a fight.
Finally, take the time prior to this meeting to figure out exactly what you want to say, or even write it down. Carefully phrase every single line so that you never state things that place blame. You want to just focus on yourself and your own feelings. Stating your love for them is another great move.
This is not a definite way to fix all of your marriage problems overnight, but it can in fact set a new tone for the way you communicate with one another so that future conversations are more healing and less conflicted.
More importantly, how much longer do you think you have until things completely fall apart and divorce is the only way out? If you are getting near the point of total desperation to fix your relationship, it is time to consider the way in which you are trying to communicate with one another.
There is one big difference between many couples who work out their problems and move onto a happy future and those that end in ruin: excellent communication skills. If you think you already have this and it isn't a problem, you are not alone. In fact, many people who come at their spouses all wrong and set up conflict often believe they have impeccable communication skills.
Maybe you are one of those people? If you have been wondering why your spouse shuts you out and just won't let you into their real thoughts and emotions, chances are the way you are asking for that entrance is pushing them away rather than drawing them near.
What you need to ultimately do is somehow set aside all of those emotions that are so intense and raw at the moment. You need an all new skill set in order to get past that wall your spouse has erected and start to repair the damage with real conversations about how you both feel and what you want.
First, make sure to initiate conversations at a time that is convenient and comfortable for your spouse. Don't approach them right after they walk in the door from a hard day of work or as they try to figure out how to get all the bills paid when the checking account is short.
Second, make sure that you do not phrase things that point a finger or even slightly hint that you are upset or they have done something wrong. This will immediately put their guard up in expectation of a fight.
Finally, take the time prior to this meeting to figure out exactly what you want to say, or even write it down. Carefully phrase every single line so that you never state things that place blame. You want to just focus on yourself and your own feelings. Stating your love for them is another great move.
This is not a definite way to fix all of your marriage problems overnight, but it can in fact set a new tone for the way you communicate with one another so that future conversations are more healing and less conflicted.
About the Author:
In order to really get the answers to your question, I highly recommend you go straight to the net's leading site about this issue here. Go there now!: marriage counseling and how to save my marriage
No comments:
Post a Comment