Seeing your marriage fall apart right in front your very eyes is the worst thing that could happen to anyone. And knowing that your partner does not want to try working things out with you is like a knife that slowly stabs you. It would not be easy to save your marriage, but maybe it's possible if you are determined to put in all the works.
The really important thing you have to bear in mind is that sometimes we get so focused in one goal to the point that we neglect asking ourselves if the goal is worthwhile. This happens all the time in most marriages. Whenever one or the other feels that the marriage is falling apart and they decide they have to save it at all costs, they get so focused on that outcome that they will never really pause to ask if it's worth saving.
This might be difficult to admit and I bet many religions would disagree, but not all marriages should be saved. Sometimes there are too many problems that you can no longer overcome. This is especially true if your partner has the problem, just look at how controversial those celebrity divorces are because of infidelity.
If a partner has been unfaithful once but regrets it sincerely, then maybe, just maybe the marriage can be saved. It won't be easy but it's not impossible to do. However, if your partner has been cheating not just once but multiple times already and has been lying all along, then that is a severe problem and it will take a long, long time to be fixed, if there's anything you can do to fix it.
In this event, ending the pain of the non philandering spouse is the most important thing to do. The marriage shouldn't be saved at all. Saving your marriage alone at this point will really be too tough.
I have an example of friend who is a very good wife and mother. But her husband is an alcoholic. He refuses to admit that he has a problem and get any help. My friend is doing everything to keep her marriage yet unless her husband is willing to change, then the marriage will just be put to waste. And it's going to be very bad for their children.
You do not want your children to grow up seeing one parent abuse the other parent. You won't want them to form wrong ideas about what relationships should be like. Sometimes a marriage should rather be broken than intact but the respect is gone. It will be much better to just move on and hopefully find someone else who rightfully treats a partner.
If you really want to save your marriage, you will need to scrutinize it very carefully. If one of you doesn't care about your relationship enough to try to save it, then what are you really trying to save in the first place? A good relationship will never be perfect but at least it should be fair enough for the both of you.
The really important thing you have to bear in mind is that sometimes we get so focused in one goal to the point that we neglect asking ourselves if the goal is worthwhile. This happens all the time in most marriages. Whenever one or the other feels that the marriage is falling apart and they decide they have to save it at all costs, they get so focused on that outcome that they will never really pause to ask if it's worth saving.
This might be difficult to admit and I bet many religions would disagree, but not all marriages should be saved. Sometimes there are too many problems that you can no longer overcome. This is especially true if your partner has the problem, just look at how controversial those celebrity divorces are because of infidelity.
If a partner has been unfaithful once but regrets it sincerely, then maybe, just maybe the marriage can be saved. It won't be easy but it's not impossible to do. However, if your partner has been cheating not just once but multiple times already and has been lying all along, then that is a severe problem and it will take a long, long time to be fixed, if there's anything you can do to fix it.
In this event, ending the pain of the non philandering spouse is the most important thing to do. The marriage shouldn't be saved at all. Saving your marriage alone at this point will really be too tough.
I have an example of friend who is a very good wife and mother. But her husband is an alcoholic. He refuses to admit that he has a problem and get any help. My friend is doing everything to keep her marriage yet unless her husband is willing to change, then the marriage will just be put to waste. And it's going to be very bad for their children.
You do not want your children to grow up seeing one parent abuse the other parent. You won't want them to form wrong ideas about what relationships should be like. Sometimes a marriage should rather be broken than intact but the respect is gone. It will be much better to just move on and hopefully find someone else who rightfully treats a partner.
If you really want to save your marriage, you will need to scrutinize it very carefully. If one of you doesn't care about your relationship enough to try to save it, then what are you really trying to save in the first place? A good relationship will never be perfect but at least it should be fair enough for the both of you.
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