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Thursday, March 24, 2011

More than just a compromise

By Reginald Alstrom


Marriage- a word which is much more than just a word! For some it's the biggest of fears and for some it's what they've been looking forward to for the most of their lives. Marriage as defined by society and religion alike is an institution, one of the holiest institutions (sometimes drawing parallels to faith and religion for its purity) that binds two individuals, sacrifice their feelings for each other, under vows for the rest of their lives. In its essence, it's a promise made by two individuals, to live as one, and immortalise the bond they share; a bond so strong that the biggest of powers succumb against its will and yet so delicate, it can be put to ashes in an instant of doubt and conflict.

With the world 'developing, progressing and evolving', it's the latter that the more apparent. Boys and girls, teenagers, today have no qualms discussing or being open to live-in relationships and pre-marital sex. In a society, where not a second thought is given to get 'into a relationship' or going between the covers, it's not surprising that the percentage of marriages failing is steadily climbing every year, not just in the west but all over the world.

Peer pressure, as early as high school, often forces adolescents to 'go around' just for the acceptance among peers. Very often such misjudgements by college goers and even adults lead to unsuccessful marriages, as people fail to realise and distinguish between crushes, infatuations and actual will/ feeling (often referred to as 'LOVE') to spend an entire lifetime with a single individual. While this reason does explain a high number of such cases, there is another few 'explanations'' that lead to failure on this front in life.

However, there are many who make an informed decision about choosing their partners and yet end up separated or waiting for another 'partner'.

Of the many reasons for such an occurrence is inability to comprehend the responsibilities that come along while trying to raise a family. For many the pressure is too much, stressing them and leading to tension, trauma and emotional outbursts which wedge a crack in the relationship.

Also a reason is priorities. Quite a few couples often disagree over the priorities of 'their' lives-family and career being the most controversial and argued ones. People tend to often lay back, give 'LOVE' a backseat once getting married, giving an impression of a lack of commitment to their partners eventually leading to communication gaps which slowly break and crumble the marriage down.

Such problems, few realise, though difficult, can be overcome. And what few know is that professional help is available, in ample, for such matters. The options are varied-from serious to some bordering on the insane- from marriage counselling to books to auctions! In the age of Information Technology, can the internet be far behind? A simple search will throw numerous result-promising avenues in front of you. While some just boast, there are few that really intuitive, laying down steps and options for any every situation. So, if you are married, and facing rough waters, standing helpless, stay tuned to know how not only to save your marriage but make it work like never before.




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