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Saturday, November 26, 2011

8 Pointers For A Flourishing Marriage

By Jeannie Cook


Here are 8 pointers that may help you save your marriage. Not so many years back divorce was just unknown, today it is so common place that it has given birth to divorce counsels and prenuptial agreements. Some of the current day pressures on average marriage include work, kids and finances. It is usual for these symptoms to creep up and before you know it you are in the middle of a divorce.

Here I want to highlight some guidelines or pointers to help you keep your marriage off the rocks and end your divorce before it gets started.

1 - Try not to let little insignificant things get in the way. Actions like leaving the top off the toothpaste or not taking out the trash can lead to discussions but when put into perspective they should not really be marriage threatening. These things can be worked around and the key to this is acknowledgment and toleration together with communication and a little personal effort. (see step 8)

2 - Try and make any major decisions in your lives together as a couple. It can be extremely disempowering if any major decision is made unilaterally by one of the couple. Decisions on stuff like purchasing a new car, schooling for the kids, career/job changes or home decoration are the type of actions that are likely to cause damage to the trust and respect in your marriage. All of these kinds of decisions should be talked out so that neither of the partners starts to feel fooled or controlled in any way.

3 - Keep on top of your marriage. Take time out together very often and get away for a couple of days. Some special time together away from the every day diversions can re-kindle the love in a committed relationship. It'll give you both time to put things into perspective again. You may even like to try an expertly arranged couple's retreat.

4 - Begin to date one another again. Going on dates can be really a huge help to any couple. Scheduling time on a regular basis to go out on a date and spend some special time in each others company will definitely help to maintain the excitement in your relationship.

5 - In each marriage there will be certain topics that you will never agree on. Don't be frightened to agree to disagree and move on. Accept the fact that there'll be a set of time where this is a necessary step.

6 - Try not to be afraid to step down and admit you are wrong. In each contention there is always a 'right answer ' or the highest truth. On occasions you will need to let your ego go down a little in order to realize that your partner is really right. If both the partners are prepared to do this then many blocked situations can be worked thru.

7 - Often the spark in a relationship is lost. A little fervour can do wonders on getting the spark back again. Remain fanatical about your partner and watch the spark get rekindled.

8 - Don't try and change your partner. Your better half is who they may be and if you're consistently making an attempt to change who they are they'll begin to feel that they are unliked as they are. Accept your partner and have them accept you.




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