When you committed yourself to marriage, you bought yourself a ticket for a roller coaster ride that only death can stop. You will experience both thrilling and nauseating days, high and low months and daring and fearful periods. As long as you're willing to stick with each other through thick or thin, your marriage will continue to work out. Otherwise, your marriage will suffer and worse, you might eventually break up.
To avoid the reactive question, "How will I save my marriage?" be proactive in handling your union and in keeping your sacred promise. Below are five guidelines on how to carry out this positive approach.
Marriage requires communication.
For any relationship to last, it must have a two-way communication. Sharing each other's dreams, wishes, fears and insights is the best way to connect. However, it would be ineffective if you fail to grasp the exact message of your spouse. Listen with your ears and eyes because the real message lies beyond the words. The body language will tell you what the words couldn't.
Utilize healthy silence.
When rage and depression dominate you, you tend to blurt out hurtful statements. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, just be quiet. Let the negative feelings ebb first; otherwise, you blurt out lines you might regret later. As you calm yourself, try to ponder how you can express your feelings without attacking your partner's ego.
Marriage keeps the fire.
Spend quality time with your partner on a regular basis. If you have kids, you can ask your parents or friends to look after them for a couple of hours. Do things you used to do before you tied the knot. Continue writing love letters, giving gifts and surprising each other. Tell your partner your love hasn't changed a bit. Sweet things like these can keep you from undergoing the save-my-marriage conflict.
Compromise with your spouse.
You will have disagreements with your partner once in a while. You are in the mood for steak but he/she wants to have fish. You feel like exercising together but he/she is too tired for it. You want to enroll your son in a private institution but he/she thinks you can't afford the tuition. When you have different opinions and preferences, make a compromise. Come into terms and do whatever you've agreed without grudges.
Treat your marriage as an investment.
Treat your marriage like it's a business you own. If you have that sense of ownership, you'll do everything to sustain it. You will continually assess the situation, examine the problems and foresee the threats to keep it from failing. You will celebrate its strengths and milestones too. If you treat it like an investment, you will prioritize it more than anything else.
Don't wait for your marriage to get miserable to deserve your attention. Give your union ample attention, address your and your partner's needs and resolve your relationship issues to prevent any save-my-marriage battle.
To avoid the reactive question, "How will I save my marriage?" be proactive in handling your union and in keeping your sacred promise. Below are five guidelines on how to carry out this positive approach.
Marriage requires communication.
For any relationship to last, it must have a two-way communication. Sharing each other's dreams, wishes, fears and insights is the best way to connect. However, it would be ineffective if you fail to grasp the exact message of your spouse. Listen with your ears and eyes because the real message lies beyond the words. The body language will tell you what the words couldn't.
Utilize healthy silence.
When rage and depression dominate you, you tend to blurt out hurtful statements. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, just be quiet. Let the negative feelings ebb first; otherwise, you blurt out lines you might regret later. As you calm yourself, try to ponder how you can express your feelings without attacking your partner's ego.
Marriage keeps the fire.
Spend quality time with your partner on a regular basis. If you have kids, you can ask your parents or friends to look after them for a couple of hours. Do things you used to do before you tied the knot. Continue writing love letters, giving gifts and surprising each other. Tell your partner your love hasn't changed a bit. Sweet things like these can keep you from undergoing the save-my-marriage conflict.
Compromise with your spouse.
You will have disagreements with your partner once in a while. You are in the mood for steak but he/she wants to have fish. You feel like exercising together but he/she is too tired for it. You want to enroll your son in a private institution but he/she thinks you can't afford the tuition. When you have different opinions and preferences, make a compromise. Come into terms and do whatever you've agreed without grudges.
Treat your marriage as an investment.
Treat your marriage like it's a business you own. If you have that sense of ownership, you'll do everything to sustain it. You will continually assess the situation, examine the problems and foresee the threats to keep it from failing. You will celebrate its strengths and milestones too. If you treat it like an investment, you will prioritize it more than anything else.
Don't wait for your marriage to get miserable to deserve your attention. Give your union ample attention, address your and your partner's needs and resolve your relationship issues to prevent any save-my-marriage battle.
About the Author:
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